):

i miss everything .
everything that was ,
that used to be .
everything comforting ,
and fun,
and happy .
i especially miss those memories .

and i think . . .
that school is pretty gay ,
church is getting distant ,
feelings are fading ,
feelings are getting stronger,
friendships are fading ,
new ones are forming ,
for the better ,
maybe for the . . bad ?

there's nothing to look forward to anymore ,
everything is one constant, dull , boring , continuous hum ,
that never changes , and only meets downhill slopes ,
never uphills .
or not ?
well , for me at least .

there's still summer to come ,
but somehow , it just doesn't seem any more special or exciting .

i dont know ,
i just miss it all .
&& at the same time ,
i dont reall know what i miss .
actually , i dont really know what i want anymore .

so many thoughts ;

ohkay well , i was hoping that the first day back to school from break would be great !
but it wasnt -_-
it was actually really boring for me and i was in a bad mood the whole day .

. . . and i dont know why . -o-
PMS ??
hope sooo .

ughhh ! so many little things seem so big to me now and the littlest things gets on my nerves . im serious , like the stupidest things, seriously .
for example , like , if someone talks a bit too much , i just want to get my shoe and shove it up their butt and tell them to shut up =o=

im so messed up . OMGOSH .
and im being more mean now , i can tell .
lajhasdfgd;

but i cant help myself . AAHH !
i need something happy to happen ! to get my mind off of it . to put me on the right track again !

plusss , im so mad at myself .
im getting so lazy these days ): i start my homework late , i get off the computer too late , i dont want to go downstairs to staple my math homework papers, i dont want to go down and eat, i dont want to reply to texts, i get up late , i dont even do homework on weekends until late on sunday night .
im soon going to be supahh fat from immobility .

and then next week is STAR testing .
but actually , star's not that bad .

not that greattt .

SPRING BREAK is not that greatt =_=
it started out supahhh fun . !
but then it got pretty boring .

cause on friday : went to downtown brea with sarahkim . ate flamebrioler , it was so yummyy . tried on clothes at friends . i think their clothes are pretty . then walked to ralph's in like, 2 minutes and bought snacks and then walked back to theater in like another 2 minutes and smuggle thed snacks in. then watched haunting in connecticut . omgashh ! best scary movie i ever watchedd. the only one that made me tear up cause it was pretty sad too ):
thenn , we went to brea mall cause sarah's padres took us there and we shopped . then they dropped me off at church .
church was okayy .

thennn saturdayy : animal hospitall . saw so many cute puppiess and kittens . ! i think i have cat fever now . im getting addicted to catss .
thenn , my daddy took my mom and sister and me shopping and bought us clothes and then i came home and thenn , i dont remember what else idid .

sundayy : katherine&sarah came ovahh and we swam and tried to swim laps but the water was soo cold . then we ate chicken nuggets and apples and bagel bites and instead of losing weight , GAINED . lksjadghklsahg . but it was good , but there were SO MANY BEES because of the frigging chickennuggets . i hate bees now , but i still think they're cute . hahah ! thenn we tried getting a tan and even laid in the sun for like, 20 minutes . but nothing even changed x_x all that got darker was my hands and face . WTH . but i think its better now (: the sun was warm though , i wish it was warm throughout the whole break . !

mondayy : the evening was pretty boring -_- thenn , in the afternoon . key club event was pretty fun , more fun than i expected . food there was delicious . except for the orange chicken . ewewewww . thenn the dance was pretty fun . LOL .

thenn on tuesday : it started to get really boring . did nothing all day . the only highlight of that day was going out with my cousins at night for some boba and talking .

hope today will be funn .
i want to play today !

my goals for spring breakk :
-watch at least 2 movies .
-shoppingg .
-CUE .
-swim some more !
-beachhhhh .